Rav Sekhon Counselling | Perfection.
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Perfection.

14 Jul Perfection.

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To be perfect. I’ll be excellent at everything I do and I will do it exactly correct everytime. This kind of attitude can sometimes be how people view themselves. There can exist a strong expectation that perfection will be achieved everytime in daily life. It can be anything from making your morning omelette to perfection, completing that work presentation to it’s finest degree, or even interpersonal stuff like managing your day to day communications with people. Whatever it may be, some carry a distinct attitude that all actions, tasks, conversations, understandings etc must be perfect, and if they’re not – “I’m a failure”. This is a really strong core feeling that can have a significant impact on how we think, feel and behave in the world.

The expectation to be perfect is unrealistic and is damaging to our emotional wellbeing. If we continually set a standard (for oursleves) of getting it right every time then we are setting ourselves up to fail. It is an impossible feat. I think it’s incredibly important to mindful of this. As if we aren’t, it can be very easy to fall into a trap of putting expectations on ourselves that don’t actually match up to reality. When they don’t match up, we are faced with that feeling of failure, or not being good enough, letting yourself down, letting your family down and so on… This is not a healthy way to live.

To be perfect – a myth. I’m not suggesting that we don’t have moments of perfection, as it’s clear that we do, I imagine most of us can think back to such wondeful moments. But what I am suggesting is that being consistently perfect is a myth.

An alternative outlook – I’m going to try my best in everything that I do, and aim for perfection, but if I don’t achieve it sometimes, that’s ok. This allows oneself to strive to be the best, gives room for that positive motivation and also removes the expectation. Resulting in a healthier outlook to how we manage personal expectation. If it goes as planned, it boosts our morale and contributes towards our self confidence. If it doesn’t go as planned, that’s accepted, and we can learn from it.
Often I see the pressures and expectations that we put on oursleves as people, and how they can be counterproductive to the task at hand – whatever it may be. There are enough demands and pressures in life; without adding to them ourselves. I’d like to encourage everyone to releive some of this pressure by being realistic (and kind) to ourselves.

Rav Sekhon
rsekhon@live.co.uk
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